So ronery, but I has an answer!

April 13, 2008 at 12:35 am 16 comments


Ignore the silly title, sometimes I flip between SERIOUS BUSINESS and LULZ.

I am always alone.[1] It has always been that way and will forever remain as such.

My parents don’t trust me, and my mom almost threw me off a high-rise building once. I’ve always stood out during school, not because of good grades, but for showing initiative and daring to go when no one would take the risk.

Peer pressure affects me less than most people. I would still be tempted by the things of this world, but its pull takes a longer time to ensnare me. No man can ever resist the siren call of the world.

I have difficulty socializing. My genetic heritage is drawn from the men of China’s past; brave men who silently provided financial support and cared little about family (and in my case, cared little for social functions, etc.) I suspect I have Asperger’s, and that my family must have suffered from it as well.

People crave attention, social cohesion, acceptance, love. I am no different. But I have always known I will always be apart from people. Am I arrogant, thinking not of other people? No, it is not that.

Unlike most people, I have come to a most shocking conclusion: I will always be alone, should I try to seek acceptance from the world. For the world only loves you if you conform to it. I have always been a misfit since birth, naive and trusting, like a shepherd who guards the flock. (Incidentally did you know that shepherding was considered to be a dirty profession by the Egyptians and that shepherds were considered to be outcasts between the 1st Century BC/BCE and the 1st Century AD/CE?)

I would also like to add this: Ever since I was 9, I realized that there is no such thing as a good human and that the best thing for humanity would be it’s destruction. Yeah, I know that I’m holding myself and humanity to an impossible standard and knocking down the good in the world down a few pegs, making evil look good, but then again, Evil always looks good, and we all tend to seek the easy way out.

My mind’s horribly messed up. I have always known this. My teachers knew this. Heck even the whole darned system knew it. They tried to break me, coercing me first, then using emotional shock therapy. I have never agreed with them and I never will agree with them.

I was glad to have friends who cared for me (even though they too were caught up more in this world rather than the Truth), I really appreciate their help. Their presence has helped me weather many a storm in life.

Unfortunately I have always known that I will be alone. I cannot even rely on myself. I am weak and pitiful, and prone to rebel. Job said it well when he uttered the following:

Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither.[2]

In the context of this,  Job was a very pious man, thinking not of himself but for others, namely his family.
He worshipped the LORD, and made offerings for his sons and daughters, thinking that they might have sinned. But great calamity befell him, and he lost all that he had. And even then he acknowledged the LORD.

What’s the meaning of this? It means this: You are alone, from birth till death, though wrapped in the loving hands of those who love you, but you cannot take them with you when you die.

Even King Solomon knew this very well. He said:

There was a man all alone;
he had neither son nor brother.
There was no end to his toil,
yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.
“For whom am I toiling,” he asked,
“and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?”
This too is meaningless—
a miserable business![3]

Oh, how foolish we are, to try to fill this empty void in our lives with either relationshhips or material possessions, which are but temporal, and worth nothing to us when we die.

But if nothing of this earth can fill that void in our lives, who can? Or rather, what?

Let us turn to the words of a compassionate but eccentric Irish man, who lived in the 19th century. His name is Joseph Scriven, and he knows the feeling of being lonely all too well. After all, he lost two brides and he never fully recovered.

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear.
What a privilege to carry, ev’rything to God in Prayer.
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry, ev’rything to God in Prayer.

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful, who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee? take it to the Lord in prayer;
in his arms He’ll take and shield thee, thou wilt find a solace there. [4]

Yes, it is Jesus. The King of Kings, Emmanuel, Christ. The one who so willingly gave his life for us. He is the only friend we have, and need. For he represents God, who loved us so, that he gave Him to us, so that we may no longer die, but have everlasting life [5].

He is the One who shares in your joys, your disappointments, knows your hopes and dreams, and He will never leave you. Ever. He was there from the Beginning, and He will still be there in the End. He is patient, He is kind. He does not envy, He does not boast, He is not proud. He is not rude, He is not self-seeking, He is not easily angered, He keeps no record of wrongs. He does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.[6]

God is Love. He loves us so, and He still does. Are you willing to let Him in and be your friend?

Notes and stuff:
[1] Rebuttal to Koji Oe and bluemist
[2] Job 1:21, KJV
[3] Ecclesiastes 4:8, NIV
[4] What A Friend We Have In Jesus, Joseph Medlicott Scriven (1819-1886), melody by Charles Crozat Converse (1834-1918) Read more about it.
[5] Referencing John 3:16-17.
[6] Modification of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Also references Proverbs 18:24. If God is Love, do not these verses serve to exemplify his Love and faithfulness?

Entry filed under: Christianity and Anime.

BLASSREITER Parody #1 LOL Sacchin Route WUT

16 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Koji Oe  |  April 13, 2008 at 1:13 am

    gb2 /church/

    Reply
  • 2. Tyrenol  |  April 13, 2008 at 4:20 am

    When I was young, I was registered ADHD and I couldn’t do well in a normal school setting. The people didn’t know what to do with me, and I would get into fights with other kids because I STICK OUT.

    Dropped out of high-school early and went straight to college. Turned into a reliable guy anyway. Relied on my family and trusted the few cool friends I have.

    Personally; I think the church system ruins people more than helps them. Not that it doesn’t help, but I’d rather hang around someone scarred with real consequences than someone filled with false hope.

    Finally: Loneliness is the end-result of saying “Screw your money, I have rules!” and then walking away never to return.

    Reply
  • 3. Chris Fritz  |  April 13, 2008 at 6:47 am

    Don’t forget: Asperger’s is simply a name given to a type of personality. You may as well say, “That gal is outgoing, that guy is dedicated, that gal is nerdy, and he’s an Aspie”. It’s a general term for a type of personality that a number of people think needs “curing”, just as being a wallflower at a party or being an introvert or being shy also needs “curing” as many see it. (I speak from experience of being a shy introvert who’d register 110 out of 100 on a scale of Asperger’sness.)

    It took me by surprise to see the rise in labelling activeness as “ADHD” (mentioned by Tyrenol), and handing out drugs to “cure” that, as well.

    Some people will be introverts, others will be outgoing. Some people will be nervous around peers, others will be social butterflies. Some people will be surrounded by many friends and family, and others will go it alone.

    I say, leave me to my stories I write in my mind, in those characters I’ve created to whom I can put my trust, and let me be otherwise =P There’s nothing wrong with that. Of course, my reading this post and replying is all part of a social experiment by myself, a person who is at his best alone.

    Maybe we need an anime about a guy who sees mankind as a blight on the world, leaving him to journey to obtain the power to become a god and remove humanity. He could even start out as the hero of the story through most of it, then turn villain whom his companions must defeat in the final episodes, while he’s levelling one city after another. Set it in a fantasy/medieval world, and I’d watch it.

    Reply
  • 4. Koji Oe  |  April 13, 2008 at 6:51 am

    Chris Fritz@ Someone needs to play the Shin Megami Tensei games.

    Reply
  • 5. bluemist  |  April 13, 2008 at 12:42 pm

    “For the world only loves you if you conform to it.”

    BAM! Straight to the point. But little does the world realize that the greatest men who ever lived in the world are the non-conformists. People who strive for change and thus in their own ways change the world. You described one of them, Jesus.

    Amen? Amen!

    Reply
  • 6. Roy 747  |  April 13, 2008 at 5:57 pm

    Great post

    Reply
  • 7. sage  |  April 13, 2008 at 10:11 pm

    just put sage in all fields and voids

    Reply
  • 8. IcyStorm  |  April 13, 2008 at 10:11 pm

    My gosh, every time you write something Christianity-related, I look at your blog title (orz – SWISS CHEESE PORN) and I shake my head, wondering if I should take it seriously @_@

    Reply
  • 9. usagijen  |  April 14, 2008 at 12:10 am

    I fervently believe people should surrender themselves to the possibility of being forever single, embrace the fear, but more importantly, look at the bright side of it. Things will happen, according to His plan, so instead of worrying about finding your future partner, live your life to the fullest, shape up your character to become a great person, either to prepare yourself to become a worthy partner in the future, become a great friend, or become a source of inspiration for others, etc. 🙂

    Reply
  • 10. The Animanachronism  |  April 14, 2008 at 4:10 am

    Rather embarrassingly, I have to agree with most of what you said – embarrassingly, because Brits Don’t Talk About Religion. (Or, indeed, sex and patriotism.)

    Reply
  • 11. Zeroblade  |  April 14, 2008 at 4:38 am

    And a happy Good Shepherd Sunday to you too.

    Reply
  • 12. Will of the wisp  |  April 14, 2008 at 9:45 pm

    In my opinion, although our earthly relationships do not last, we are never alone. I imagine God is with us, always (“IAnd surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” – Matthew, 28:20). In my immaginaion, he walks among us, invisibly trailing behind us, watching over us and comforting us with the little miracles that we often ail to atrribute to Him.

    In the same thought pattern, I would think relationship with people on earth is a reflection of our love for God, a natural outcome of our love — In a way, it is also one of God’s miracles to us — that we have family, friends, no matter how distant they seem, to enjoy brief moments of joy with. I would like to think that God gave us these moments of joy so that it shall sustain us during the dark nights to come, when all seems lost.

    Although we often attribute our characteristics to gene (such as being antisocial to being Chinese), one must always remember that environmentaility is also a factor — as well, one is always able to change one’s personality. in fact, according the Big Five theory of personality trait (MMIP-2), perosnality changes with significant life changes, peer / environment one chooses to be near, and age. So there is always ways to change oneself to what one wishes to be — God will help us.

    Looking back, it looks like I was too verbose again. Anyway, my two cents. 😛 Back to studying for exams for me xD

    Reply
  • 13. Anonymous  |  April 15, 2008 at 12:11 am

    >>just put sage in all fields and voids
    Sir, you fail at life because in this cases we cohort to cruel and witty remarks for the OP like “lol assburgers jesusfag, the perfect excuses to be a social reject”.

    Reply
  • 14. Michael  |  April 15, 2008 at 1:00 pm

    You do know that to believe you is pretty difficult. One has to wonder whether /b/ or God has affected you more, and the commentators here only prove that.

    However, to come clean and say one believes in God is a difficult thing in this pluralistic world, and I admire you for that. I have been an atheist once – I guess that’s the problem of reading too much controversial literature. However, after I’ve read Ecclesiastes and the Psalms (I assume the same favorite books of yours), my faith returned to me, or I forcibly took it back again.

    And while I’m not a fervent or a fundamentalist Christian, I am one. I still sin – everybody does, but my faith in God helps me through bouts of desperation, and sometimes, loneliness.

    Loneliness accompanies alll the people who are vanguards, who are advancing more than their peers, who challenge their peers, who transcend supposed realities and possibilities. But even simple people are prone to it … everyone is lonely at one point in their life, and belief in God helps. It does, at least, for me.

    Reply
  • 15. Funnibunney  |  April 20, 2008 at 12:15 am

    @ Michael: If you love God and keep his commandments, you are a fundamentalist Christian. (I am not saying that is a bad thing).

    Interesting you quote Ecclesiastes. Yesterday I was studying the very conclusion of that Scripture, the following verse:

    13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is man’s all.

    In a study of vanity and futility, it is interesting (or perhaps fitting) that Solomon would end on this note. But considering his life, his tremendous wealth, and equally tremendous sin, perhaps he realized that no matter how rich or powerful he became, all would return to dust. This is the attitude you have now. But returning to this fundamental, life once again has meaning, and we realize that serving God is man’s raison d’etre.

    Reply
  • 16. sage  |  April 20, 2008 at 6:09 am

    >>Sir, you fail at life because in this cases we cohort to cruel and witty remarks for the OP like “lol assburgers jesusfag, the perfect excuses to be a social reject”.

    I didn’t want to be witty or anything, it’s just an advice that helps me in life. you shouldn’t take it literal though…

    Also I intend to fail at life, but haven’t succeded yet

    Reply

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I’M IN THE ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMY.

And the prophet spake, saying: "Frak this, for my faith is a shield proof against your blandishments!"

- Alem Mahat, The Book of Cain, Chapter IV, Verse XXI

Email: DrmChsr0atgmaildotcom (at=@, dot=.)

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