Top Blog Episode 1: impz gets reviewededed!

LOL NOTE: You know all the silly hullaboo over Top Gear, the BBC car show that wrecks more cars than it’s worth and has a snarky host that insults cars? Well, I love this show so much, Imma gonna parody it! Yep, every Sunday (Or Monday), expect a scathing review of a blog or a blogger in teh aniblog ‘community’, and watch as I rip them apart for no good reason. To all those who are featured here, no hard feelings, ‘kay? (Except for Jason Miao and jaalin, they need to go back to blogging summer school)

DISCLAIMER: This article is meant to offend, annoy, incite feelings of anger, and just outright ruin someone’s day. All in the name of humour. If you take offense to whatever is in this article, please do not complain. I have already warned you. Further complaints will be dealt with in the same manner as these reviews.

*ANNOYING OP MUSIC*

TOP BLOG, with your host, DrmChsr0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

‘Ello, ‘ello! Welcome to the first episode of Top Blog. If you haven’t known already, Top Blog is all about reviewing them wacky animé bloggers and their just as wacky blogs.

Today we’re gonna review the starlet of the aniblog world, the one and only, the trappiest of the traps, one who leaks poop, IMPZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*sounds of incessant laughter* *sounds of rip-snorting laughter* *sound of an ambulance wheeling from the scene*

Ahem, we seem to have a bit of a casualty there. Hopefully it ain’t too serious, eh?

We’ll be back after a few words from our sponsors.

*commercial break, lulz*

…And we’re back. Apologies about that. Didn’t expect someone to faint from laughing too much.

Well, anyways, we’re back, and we’re gonna take impz for a bit of a test ride. By that, of course, I mean read some of his articles!

Article 1

What is this? He calls it “Impzie’s Destructive Reviews”, but where’s the ruddy explosions? And why does he call himself Impzie, when he clearly leaks poop?  He should be called Poopzie for the sheer mindblowing  stupidity it’ll generate! And heck, even the writing feels like he wants to give the shows a chance, not tear it apart with a pack of ravenous hounds strapped with C4!

Article 2

Personally I think he was a bit of a flake when he wrote this. All he does is go “OMFG PRETTY GRAPHICS” and “OSHI PRETTY GRAPHICS”. Without even mentioning the manegg. Personally, if I were him, I’d go straight to the manegg.

Article 3

Goodness gracious me. What was he thinking when he was writing this? It’s horrible. Terrible, even. One of the worst articles I’ve ever read from him yet. The writing’s haphazard, the information’s most probably made up, the humour, Great Scott, it couldn’t even make his mother laugh. Cry, maybe, but not a single chuckle. An utterly horrible article which feels like it was forced from his leaking anus.

Article 4

Wait a minute, why is he covering blogs now? And what is with the news update? it’s so completely unbloggish. But i there’s one good thing about this, at least the writing’s improved. It’s insipid, but at least, he’s not up to his usual bag of fail. And that’s the only good thing about this article.

Article 5

Finally, some hints of quality! After slogging through all that half-hearted crap, he finally shows an inkling of class! Hats off to ye! He finally gets the idea! It’s not about the silly pictures, it’s about the words, and how thought-provoking it really is! Bravo!

In conclusion:

impz is capable of writing quality articles. It’s all a matter of dropping the pretense he calls ‘humour’.

That’s it for this week, we’re outta time, and I’m outta tea! See you next week, folks!

NEXT WEEK:

Who’s gonna be next on the chopping board: Jason Miao from Anime On My Butt, er, Mind, or jaalin, from Random Curisority? YOU DECIDE!

Drm’s response: So, what d’yeh think, eh? Good enough for some hate mail? Keep in mind, though, that this is all nonsensical and does not always reflect my true feelings. Personally, apart from that mecha one, impz has a nice flair for writing. And he’s lucky to have nabbed a fine lady for a significant other. Even if he does harvest a few good writers so that he can afford to slack a little more, lulz. Eh impz, no hard feelings, eh?