The dreaded TOUHOU POST.

May 13, 2006 at 1:25 am 9 comments


You've probably seen some rather unfamiliar names on this blog, but let me assure you. It's only the first step to brainwashing errr… the best little girls shooting at other little girls game you'll ever need.

What am I talking about, in my lolisnorting-induced hallucinations? It's about this series of games from Japan, available through all fine stores like FUCKING HIMEYA, that involves little girls spraying colorful bukkakke patterns of bullets at other little girls (to be honest, some of them have breasts of cow-like proportions).

In Touhou, you play as one of three protagonists(usually), playing out their versions of the event by, you guessed it, shooting at other little girls. And yeah, that's about it. Oh, don't forget to collect those colorful squares that fall out of the sky. They help you become more powerful.

Just before I introduce the (main) characters, here's a litle tidbit. The crazy man you should thank is ZUN, scrawny Japanese and crazy nutfuck. He did the games himself. You heard that right. All by himself. Okay, so he has people betatest his games for him, but the whole series has been cranked out by ONE MAN. Kinda like that crap on a cartridge known as ET for the Atari 2600, but with a rabid fanbase and not in a New Mexico landfill.

Speaking of the fans, the fanbase is crazy rabid fucked over Touhou. I mean, THEY EVEN HAVE A FUCKING CON FOR THE DAMN TOUHOU DOUJINS THEY MAKE. A FUCKING CON. THAT'S HOW CRAZY THE SITUATION IN JAPAN IS.

Well, the English community is also crazy rabid fucked. But in a totally different way. THey're just as crazy rabid fucked as the Japanese, only more rabid and sometimes crazy over nothing. They're also perverts.

Oh yeah, where was I? The characters, yeah. You (usually) play as one of three girls:

Reimu, the shrinemaiden who begs for donations, is crazyass talented but lazy, and likes getting it on with her armpits

Marisa, the Ordinary witch who steals stuff from various places, throws huge beams of mass destruction that puts dropping Colonies on planets to shame, and is rumored to have a penis.

Sakuya, the perfect and elegant maid, who throws knives, stops time, cleans house, like bondage (*shudder), is HAADO GEI for her mistress, and has a crazy rabid fangirl.

While ripping random enemies to bits, you may come across other notable characters like, that cute little Jesus-Cross girl, a stupid ice fairy, a redheaded door guard who happens to be empty in the head, a half-cat half-human libarian who happens to know some extremely destructive magic, a fat winter fairy, a two-tailed catgirl, a doll otaku and her extremely cute little doll companion, musician triplets, a loli-ish half-ghost swordsgirl who's under the employ of a very hungry ghost, a part-firefly part-human loli, a really tasty cute night sparrow,a part-cow part-hawt chick female-type, a loli vampire and her batshit insane younger sister, an extremely smart but extremely perverted nurse, an annoying moon princess and her crazy blue-haired punk of an adversary, a nine-tailed fox and her extremely hawt, sleepy, and perverted master, and many others~

I think I'd better end here. Any more and I'll probably go mad with either laughter or cuteness overload.

Entry filed under: doujin, Snorting lolis, Touhou.

OMG SWAG It’s time to pay the nekomimi meido tax~

9 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Lupus  |  May 13, 2006 at 2:05 am

    Sounds pretty sweet. Where can I get this?

    Reply
  • 2. T_T|||  |  May 13, 2006 at 5:40 pm

    Tokyo Tosho. Some smart alec uploaded a torrent for all the releases from TH1 to TH95. The files are 1.4GB big. Have fun. And Sakuya is mine. Everyone let’s start shooting the bullet, and congrats kwok for unlocking level 6 of Shoot the Bullet.

    Reply
  • 3. T_T|||  |  May 13, 2006 at 5:40 pm

    I forgot to explain why the uploader’s a smart alec. He uploaded Touhou under the HENTAI category. Good job. Doujin = hentai.

    Reply
  • 4. Hetdegon  |  June 19, 2006 at 5:49 pm

    And Mystia’s mine, just remember that.
    I will shot you for the tasty thing, by the way.

    Reply
  • 5. drmchsr0  |  June 20, 2006 at 2:24 am

    T_T

    Reply
  • 6. brad  |  January 11, 2007 at 8:25 am

    Absolutely not. I joined and served because I volunteered, as did everyone else I served with. Once you make it compulsory, you get people

    Reply
  • 7. Anonymous  |  January 11, 2007 at 2:21 pm

    thank you so much! I wouldn’t have tried the torrent in the hentai category. Now I have more Touhou games 😀

    Reply
  • 8. Yvonx  |  May 21, 2007 at 3:52 am

    helloy

    Reply
  • 9. 2r3ff2r3  |  January 21, 2008 at 11:17 pm

    In Japan, maids are symbolic.

    Reply

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