Dengeki Daioh pays several artists several million yen to run my sanity into the ground

Sources extremely close to Japan states that Dengeki Daioh has just decided to declare war on what is left of my collective sanity (and thankfully, not on my wallet).

As a commeration of their 15 years of not declaring war on anybody’s sanity and existence, they have decided to have a heroine’s gallery (of sorts) where they will pay several artists several million yen each to draw weapons of mass dis-traction, er, I mean, popular females from Dengeki Daioh.

And now, I will go through the lineup and hope NOT to get early injuries before theyeven launch their collective assault.

• Aoki Ume (Hidamari Sketch) x ToHeart [OW MY NUTBLADDER]
  
• Akane Kotetsu (Vandread manga) x ToHeart
• Ayakura Jyuu (Spice & Wolf novel art) x Toaru kagaku no railgun [Pffffffffffffffffffft.]
  
• Arufa (Sharin no kuni game) x Toradora! [T_T]
  
• Itou Noizi (Haruhi novel art, Shana novel art) x Toradora! [GAH]
  
• Ishikei (NiseMIDIdoronokai) x Kashimashi ~girl meets girl~ [SOMEBODY HELP ME]
  
• Ueda Yumehito (True Tears anime) x Toaru kagaku no railgun [HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA]
  
• okama (all sorts of cool stuff) x GUNSLINGER GIRL
  
• Kuroboshi Kouhaku (Kino no tabi novel art) x ToHeart [O_O]
  
• KEI (Vocaloid 2 Hatsune Miku etc) x Ichigo Mashimaro [BLARG]
  
• Kouga Yun (LOVELESS) x GUNSLINGER GIRL
  
• Kotamaru (Twinkle Crusaders, Prism Ark) x Shingetsutan Tsukihime [...I'm so dead.]
  
• Kobayashi Jin (School Rumble) x Azumanga Daioh [NO NOT THAT COMBO.]
  
• Kobuichi (Zetsubou, SNOW) x Shingetsutan Tsukihime [ZETSUBOU SHI- It's not Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei?]
  
• Komatsu E-ji (planetarian, Iriya no sora) x Daioh Heroines [O_O, T_T ZETSUBOU SHITA!]
  
• Satou Shouji (Highschool of the dead) x Azumanga Daioh
  
• Shiina Yuu (Legend of heroes 6) x Shakugan no Shana
  
• Sumaku Jungo (Carbon Base) x Ichigeki sacchuu!! Hoihoi-san
  
• Sogabe Shuuji (Senko no Ronde) x Azumanga Daioh
  
• Tomoseshunsaku (Akatsuki no goei) x ToHeart
  
• Nanao Naru (D.C., ef, Suika) x Kokoro Toshokan
  
• Haga Yui (Lotte no omocha!) x Ninin ga Shinobuden
  
• Harada Takehito (Disgaea series) x Ichigo Mashimaro [FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFf]
  
• Fujima Takuya (Negima!? NEO, Nanoha Vivid) x ToHeart
  
• Miyama Zero (Princess Bride) x Shakugan no Shana
  
• Miwa Shirou (GUILTY GEAR XX / -SLASH-) x GUNSLINGER GIRL
  
• Muririn (Nanami to Konomi no oshiete A.B.C) x Toradora!
  
• Yuuki Hagure (WIRE FRAME) x Kashimashi ~girl meets girl~
  
• Youta (SH@PPLE) x Kokoro Toshokan
  
• Yoshizaki Mine (Keroro Gunso, Otomedius) x Ninin ga Shinobuden [*sounds of breaking glass]
  
• refeia (Devils Devel Concept) x Ichigeki sacchuu!! Hoihoi-san
  
• Ryouka (Akane iro ni somaru saka game) x Kemeko DX [*Sounds of utter despair]
  
• Watashiya Kaworu (Kodomo no jikan) x Kemeko DX [*sounds of- CTHULHU FTHAGN]

GAH I DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH HPS TO LAST THE REAL ATTACK. I AM SO DEAD.

…At least there’s no Feena

Also not funny.

LOL Sacchin Route WUT

LOL NEWS LINK

I am slower than slowpoke.

TYPE-MOON announces more than used goods Mahoyo, gives Sacchin the worst sex scene ever her due.

Also no delicious Aoko sechz.

I’m both happy and mildly disappointed at the news. Mostly because I can’t use one of my favorite TYPE-MOON jokes anymore. Hopefully the Sacchin sex scene is so horrible “Isn’t it sad, Sacchin?” comes to mean something else other than her lack of a route

When I read it, I shat bricks. Tons of bricks. And not the Lego kind.

Kadokawa Shoten to print a TYPE-MOON spinoff magazine, TYPE-MOON fans everywhere shat epic bricks.

Hospitals were overflowing with people with bleeding butts due to epic brick-shatting.

…There goes 22 dollars I could have used for a better purpose. Like food. I guess it’s time to actually be serious about Learning Japanese.

Mirrormoon + Revolve are made of win and more win.

Rwar

UBW has been edited and is now waiting betatesting.

Tsukihime PLUS-DISC patch 1.0 has been released.

Ryuusoul is a translating genius and if I were not Christian, I would want to have his manbabies, LOL

School Days, Dio Brando, and something about Tsukihime

So I gather everyone has head the news. Enough chatter about the adulterous prick getting his just desserts. I’ll just write my own ending because I feel like it.

Kotonoha, for some reason, calls Sekai, informing her of this quaint little abortion clinic just outside of town. Or something. Sekai, uh, I suppose refuses it for reasons unknown, so Kotonoha flips.

Kotonoha confronts Makoto, unsheathing her family’s katana (still razor sharp, even after all these years!), and promptly cuts the faggot into ribbons. And beheads him. Yeah, now you know how the samurai died with honor. By asking someone to cut their head off with their katana.

Actually, I was lying about the last bit. What actually happens is DIO BRANDO (Jojo’s Bizzare Adventure WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY, 4chan) appears out of nowhere, mistakes Makoto for Joesph Joestar and performs THE WORLD on Makoto. except Dio isn’t throwing knifes at him or dropping a steamroller on him, but instead throws SUPERTANKERS at the boy and drops a NICE BOAT at the end of it all. Of course Kotonoha smote the head off him after Dio was done with his stuff.

Mail, rooftop, etc. Kotonoha shows Sekai the last thing she’ll ever see of Makoto. I’m so tempted to say Richard (of Looking for Group Fame, singing Destroy the World, of course) suddenly came in and flash froze the two girls, but that isn’t the case here. Kotonoha kills Sekai. (OH MAI GAA NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU)

And.

Does.

Something.

Unspeakably.

Horrible.

To.

Her.

Body. (By this time you know where my fan loyalties lie.)

Possessed by some unspeakable WW2 Japanese soldier spirit she does something akin to what the Japanese did to pregnant women: slice open the poor girl’s bellly and rip out the baby. Of course Kotonoha doesn’t know that babies are zygotes at this stage of pregnancy, and mutters something to the extent of “no baby” and “you bleed red blood”.

And then she sails away with Makoto’s head in her arms. Oh, I suppose she squicks the head of the formerly insensitive, philandering clod but those are technical details.

OK, alternate ending:

Shiki, chasing Van Fem, wanders into the world of School Days. He meets up with Richard (the undead warlock from LFG, duh), Nanaya mode activates and the both of them Destroy that World. Van Fem drops a NICE BOAT on Makoto. Actually it was closer to a supertanker in mass, but eh, boat sounds funnier.

Kotonoha marries Sekai in what seems to be a bizarre lesbian ritual. The child that was born to the two eventually start the Nanaya clan. By the time Shiki is born, there are no traces of Makoto’s DNA present.

I’m horribly evil, so sue me.

Guess what I just heard.

Nanoha StrikerS broadcast date has been pushed back 2 weeks, to the 14th of April.

Tsukihime is going to be rereleased! With the Sacchion scenario! Sacchin fans everywhere rejoice.

Touhou 10 is going to be on the Wii. Danmaku on the Wii? We’ll see how it goes.

Euphie can see forever. No rly. She can.

impz loev manegg. He really does.

And whar du I get mah ausum news? Over here!

Specter 1, we are good to go. Launch the Tsukihime English Patch.

No seriously, it’s done.

No dorama, either.

And now, a little disclaimer from the lead translator:

Please, no discussion of obtaining the game by any illegal means. I’m not interested in engaging in any philosophical debates. I don’t care how hard it is to buy legally or how expensive it is. We’re not hosting torrents here and we don’t want to see our patch hosted along with any illegal copies of the game.

Got it?

Good.

- Ryuusoul

Mirror-Moon don’t want no lawsuits fluing their way, so respect that.

Have fun~

Tsukihime Beta 2 Playtesting has begun, WOO~

From Mirrormoon:

With proofreading as good as finished, Tsukihime Beta 2 has now entered the playtesting stage. All beta testers currently available have been notified by e-mail. Anyone who has not received this mail, please read the main trac page for details.

Oh yeah. Soon, we will have Tsukihime in English, and we can all be wowed by the writings of Nasu Kinoko. Fight on, MirrorMoon, and fight on betatesters!

Higurashi is a homage to Tsukihime.

Good Lord why didn’t it hit me before.

Let’s start with the title. “Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni” in English translates to “When the Cicadas Cry”. This is a reference to a famous scene in Tsukihime, where Shiki gets a glass injection straight to the heart eight years ago. Unfortunately, due to confidentiality issues, I cannot reveal the scene.

Another big homage would be the twin swapping thing. Well, in Tsukihime, we have Kohaku and Hisui, who are twins, and in certain scenes of the game, both sisters switch places. Same thing happens in Higurashi, well, it’s mentioned once. Maybe more in the game. I can’t be too sure. Also, we all love Shion and haet Mion. Mion sucks.
One of the biggest hints of Tsukihime influence is Ciel. Yes, people, Chie-senpai is actually Ciel. Even though it’s not all that apparent in the anime, it’s a whole lot more apparent in the manga and game. She goes fuckin’ nuts when curry is mentioned in the former and judges a curry competition and whips out her trademark weapon in the latter.

Hopefully, this will not be an everyday occurence.

Yes, be shocked, afraid and repulsed. I do write fanfiction. Of the so bad it’s good type. Enjoy.