Shana-tan 2 CASE REOPEN

I know I’ve already covered Shana-tan 2, but it was so awesome it needed another one!

For the uninitiated, this is more or less the breakdown for Shana-tan:

• Shana-tan eats meronpan on Yuuji’s head.
• Yuuji, apparently, has an A++ cock that Yoshida wanna ride.
• Yoshida’s boobs are A++ quaality.
• Wilhelmina appears and says lines from random movies! YAY~
• SIEG PORK
• Somewhere out there, there is a naked Wilhelmina. Because Margery took her clothes.
• Friagne’s cute doll familiar is a joke cameo character and has been adopted by a crazy Merihim.
• Yoshida becomes evil. YAY EVIL

I’m still laughing my ass off because it’s so damned funny.

One thing to note: The music at the end changed when Alastor noted the wind was sounding spooky. Awesome.

Now we need Shana-tan 3 while we wait for TEH SHANA MOVIE, where I get to see SAKAI YUUJI KILLING WILHELMINA YAY T_T

OMG WILHELMINA~

Before I start, I would like to give a big fat hairy "FUCK YOU" to Japan. And for the uninitiated, Demonbane does have tentacler000 and slimes getting off and books being raped by d000girls. Not to mention some of the most disturbings things to be seen in a game.

But enough with that. The main focus of this is to talk about the new Shana-tan special.

Shakugan no Shana: Closing thoughts.

Man, finally finished the story about a little girl with a big heart who was able to know how to love. Of course, the fun doesn’t stop there.

For one thing, half of that last episode sounded like a bad porno flick. Why? Hecate was moaning almost all the time. Like as if Yuuji was f000ing her or something. God, that was the most disturbing scene in the whole of the series, and that includes the Aizen Twins Frenching and Friagne going nuts over his ragdoll.(Granted Friagne was a whole lot more hilarious than Hecate being ‘f000ed’. I couldn’t take him seriously.) Seriously, if she climaxed, I think I might just throw up. (or fap to it, but I’d wager I’d assume the foetal position first, then puke.)

I’m kinda disturbed by the adversaries the Flame Haze face. They all have pronounced personality traits that color them as disturbing. Friagne’s a doll otaku(ALICE MARGATROID), the Aizen twins are, URGH, Hecate wants cock, Sydonay’s a creepy pedophile, the mad scientist character, and Bel-peol, well, something’ll come up.

I’m surprised the Flame Haze are that mentally strong. To face such horrors and still manage to do their jobs. My hats off to them.

But why does Hecate want cock so badly? Don’t ask me. I’m still traumatized by that last episode. And why does she throw a temper tantrum of biblical proportions when she does not get it? Was it YOU, SAKAI YUUJI, EVENTUAL MURDERER OF WILHELMINA, WHO CAUSED IT? Wait, he did.

Now, to something a little more contemplative. Hecate, who has been praying for her own individuality, has never got it? Why? Because Mr. Creepy Pedo won’t let her. I’m serious. Hecate should just kick Sydonay in the balls and go out once in a while. I think she’ll enjoy herself, and make her own memories.

I’ve always wondered how Alastor would look like. I think he’d look like the butler dude from Haruhi.

And now, the obligatory fanboyism.

WAI WAI WILHELMINA~

I’ll fucking kill you, Sakai Yuuji, and you too, you goddamn Red no Anchan. WITH ENOUGH FUCKING DANMAKU EVEN GIL AND ASPAIN CAN’T FUCKING DODGE.

Before I start my bitching and eventual danmaku shitting, the reference above refers to two of the best Touhou players in existence(not supprisingly, both live in Japan). And the grazing thing? In Touhou, your hitbox is a lot smaller than your character, thus allowing you to 'graze' the bullets. 

(ZOMG TEH SPOILER ALERTZ)

Top 10 lolis (and shotas, I’m not picky) [Based off Jason's Meido power rankings]

Well then, if Jason can have a meido ranking, why not one for the 18 and under(accoding to the UN Children's Charter)? After all, I'm not gonna stick me p0n0s into their ori0000s.

THE TOP 10 LOLIS (AND SHOTAS)

Coming in at number 10, we have………

10. Suika Ibuki (Touhou Sumisou – Immaterial and Missing Power)
She's the loliest, most drunk loli on the list. She's extremely cute and would most probably fall asleep on your lap. Watch out for those beans, though. She hates them. I'd put her higher, if she weren't drunk all the time and havnig the ability to crush me like a bug. (Or peep on me whenever I take a leak. )

And at number 9… … … …

9. Aruru (Utawarerumono)
Let's see here, cute, has a BIG FREAKING NIGH INVINCIBLE TIGER for a bodyguard and pet, and is very much attached to Mr. T000 B0000 Rune (Hakuoro) himself. And since the tiger will kill you if you cross swords with Mr T000 B0000 Rune Himself, you really are in a bit of a sticky widget.

And taking the 8th position is… … … …

8. Chiyo (Azumanga Daioh)
She's cute, has a big friendly dog, has a cat for a father, smart to the nth degree, and is adored by all. I have to dock points for BEING ABLE TO KILL PEOPLE WITH HER ACTIONS AND THAT DAMNED PENGUIN COSTUME. Ack.

Barely trumping Chiyo in 7th position is… … …

7. Rebacca Miyamoto AKA Becky (Pani Poni Dash)
See above, sans dog, cat father and plus points for looking cute if threatened if you bully her. O_O

6th place is a goddamned shocker. IT'S A LITTLE BOY OMG.

6. Yuuno (Mahou Shoujou Lyrical Nanoha / Nanoha A's)
He's one of the reasons why I watched Nanoha (actually, the main reason) I LOVE SHOTA FERRETS.
…Wait, what's with those pitchforks? And trebuchets? And torches? I'm not done yet…T_T

Look, people, I'm only halfway through. Lemme finish this, okay?

Moving on to number 5… … … …

5. Shana~ (Shakugan no Shana~)
YES I PUT SOME FUCKING TILDES. She's that special. And OMG AN AHOGE. OMG MERONPAN. *Critical hit! DrmChsr0 takes 9999 damage! DrmChsr0 DIES. Now, if I can form a contract with Archer and turn Sakai Yuuji into a FUCKING PINCUSHION, I'd be happy happy joy joy.

And now, rage abated (somewhat, gimme Caliburn, I'll rip that fucker's head off), we can continue to number 4 on the chart.

4. Illyasivel von Einzbren (Fate/Stay Night)
Seriously, who doesn't love a foreign loli who takes the initiative when it comes to men? She kidnaps Shirou and wants him to wait on her hand and foot, or something. And as a bonus, she has some oddly dresed meidos. I'd rank her higher, but I love Caster more.

Down to the last 3, this is gonna get fun.

3. Fate Testarossa (Mahou Shoujou Lyrical Nanoha / Nanoha A's), Mitsuki (He is My Master), Saber (Fate/Stay Night)
OMFG THREE WAY TIE. Also happens all three are blondes. Saber has the FREAKING AHOGE (yank it and you have another Saber~), Mitsuki is one evil loli(don't be fooled by the maid dress, err, thingy! Serious. She commands her army of fanboys to do her will. SHE'S FUCKING EMPEROR PALPATINE.), and Fate-chan, well, apart from being HAADO GEI for Nanoha, she has this rather awesome whipping sce-
MaullarMaullar, I'm gonna come over to your dorm AND FUCK YOU IN THE ASS BDSM-STYLE.

Last two, I'm too damn lazy to separate them, and they're just too damn awesome.

2. Ren (Tsukihime)
1. Nanako (Kagetsu Tohya)
Lesee here… on one end of the spectrum, a blue-haired loli catgirl who has the ability to kill you using wet dreams. She likes quiet walks in the park, strawbery shortcake, and can turn into a cat at will. On the other end of the spectrum, we have a slightly whiny unicorngirl who can turn into a big freaking gun that can kill you in one blow. She likes carrots, her master and more carrots.
Herein lies a problem. Why is Nanako ranked number 1? Well, mostly because I can't pry Ren from Shiki without becoming HAADO GEI for him. Goddamn Gland. With Nanako, all you need is a fresh curry bread from Messian. OHKO. Ciel's screwed.I get Nanako and all is well. Okay, maybe not.

SPECIAL MENTION:
Shanghai doll (Touhou)
Okay, she's not an actual loli, but a cute little doll. And yes, she's A LOT CUTER than Shinku and company. Don't give the crap that she's expendable, I'm not gonna turn her into a cute grenade of doom. Not even in the face of the Knights of Haruhi(and for the last time, you annoying knights in Incerceptor body armor, NO I WILL NOT SWEAR MY ALLEGIANCE TO HARUHI.).Dolls need some love too.

Okay guys, I'm done. Go ahead and hit me with your worst.
*yanks out Sakai Yuuji and makes him the cannon fodder while DrmChsr0 runs like the wind.

Pick thine own harem? ‘Tis a blessing indeed!

Say, Jason, You're lucky there's no one going nuts and listing overpowered female characters.

That would make for one messy harem.

Let's look at Shirou's crazy harem, for example. Two(and probably more) Servants, two mages, two Grails, one really messy tentacle monster, and not to mention one healthy teacher. All of them differing in personalities. We're lucky Nasu didn't turn Fate into a harem game. Shirou will die.

And then in Tsukihime, each woman in the harem could, would, and will rip one another(and poor Shiki) apart. Twice. Arc's a freaking plot device, Ciel has a lot of weapons up her sleeves(literally), Akiha as got some mad skills, Sion has the Etherite and her Black Barrel Replica, Kohaku's got knowledge of poisons and a killer broomstick, and I shan't go into the side characters. IT'S THE TOHNO GLAND AT WORK, I SWEAR BY ME BALLS.

Moving on to something more mundane, Negi is sure damn unlucky to have one freaking large harem. 31 little girlies all wanting his little shota self. Even his magic isn't all that effective in trying to scrub off even one.

But enough talk. Harem time.

Who gets the fist wife spot? Hell, it's tough. I like them all, and if I don't put Haruhi as first wife, I'll be tagged as a heretic and be dealt as such. Then again, since I'm not gonna consider Haruhi, bring it on. *arms self Rambo-style.

1. Caster (Fate/Stay Night)
When all is said and done, nothing beats a princess with some golden wool, the ability to beamspam with impunity, and well, evil Bell. Teehee. Incidentally, Caster is my favorite female from Fate, so . Screw you, Knights of Haruhi.

The second wife, wii~. Well, at least I'm not gonna catch hell for this one. Then again, why should I not take precautions? *dons a Starship Troopers-esque powered armor suit.

2. Wilhelmina Carmel (Shakugan no Shana)
I have no idea why I like Wilhelmina a lot. All I know is Sakai Yuuji is gonna pay. It's only a matter of time before I find the perfect guy to TEAR OPEN A NEW ONE IN HIS ASS. Hrm, maybe Fabro Rowan and his beasts might be payment for Yuuji's impunity… or maybe that gay-looking Servant with the red lance…Hell, a Kotomine is fine too… or maybe Tohno "MR. A CAT IS FINE TOO" Shiki.

And now it's time for the third wife. She should be a beauty. One with magical powers. And skilled in combat. Hrm. Tough one. Wait. I think I have a winner.

3. Sakuya Izayoi (Touhou)
She satsisfies the aforementioned criteria, does she not? Well, there's also the really minor issue of prying her from the Scarlet Devil Mansion… I'll bring cheesecake.

Moving on to the fourth one. Man this harem thing is tiring. I think I'll choose a LITTLE BOY next.

4. KoGil (Fate/Hollow Ataraxia)
Gilgamesh took a youth potion and became this cute little boy you see here. He's well-mannered, nice to people, and likes mature women. Well, screw you. I like my cute little boys and you can't stop me. Who said harems can't have little boys? *wields dual Browning M2 anti-aircraft machineguns. And Fate/Hollow Ataraxia is different fro Fate/Stay Night.

Oh my, the fifth wife. Can't take Karen, nor Shana, and BY ME BALLS, I WILL NEVER TAKE HARUHI AS MY LAWFULLY AND UNLAWFULLY WEDDED WIFE, FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE. Hrm. Well, to spite Tamaki fans, here's…

5. HMX-17a Ilfa (To Heart 2)
Robot Maids FTW. And Ilfa is cute, and has boobs, to boot. TAKE THAT MAHORO.

Hey, the last wife. Man I thought I was never going to finish this. Hmmm… NO YOU GODDAMN KNIGHTS OF HARUHI I'M NOT GONNA SWEAR MY ALLEGIANCE TO HARUHI. By Thoth, you Knights are pissing me off. Even without Haruhi, there's still so many options. Hmm. I'm tempted to put Lilith and end it all. Wait, I can.

6. Lilith (Yami no Boushi no Hon no Tabibito)
The very cute librarian from Yamibou. Partly because Carnelian is one of my favorite artists.
And she has a cute personality, too. And she has a cute yellow canary which is all fat and no meat.

And now, ZE MEIDO CORPS. Now, while most people would settle for one maid, I'm thinking a minimum of at least 3. I might hit 6, though. Hey, a big family needs a big workforce.

HEAD MEIDO: Archer (Fate/Stay Night)
Head butler, more like. What a great abuse of skills. At least he won't run out of cooking knives.

ASSISTANT HEAD MEIDO: Shamal (Mahou Shoujou Lyrical Nanoha A's)
Okay, not exactly meido material, but she cooks, dammit. COOKS.

MEIDO: Tachibana (Mahoraba), Noel and Farin (Nanoha/Triangle Hearts)
Tachibana doubles up as covert ops and, well, Noel and Farin needed a job after Nanoha A's ended so I took them in. It was either that or well, let's just say those meido cafes in Japan are pretty kinky…

Oh well. Wish me luck, Keitaro's immortal constitution and the TOHNO GLAND that I may come out of this alive. Hell, even with twin M2 Browning Machine Guns, my powered armor, and all this weaponry, I don't know if I can withstand repeated blows from the Knights of Haruhi, Mahoro, Tamaki fanboys, and pretty much most of anime fandom.