So ronery, but I has an answer!

Ignore the silly title, sometimes I flip between SERIOUS BUSINESS and LULZ.

I am always alone.[1] It has always been that way and will forever remain as such.

My parents don’t trust me, and my mom almost threw me off a high-rise building once. I’ve always stood out during school, not because of good grades, but for showing initiative and daring to go when no one would take the risk.

Peer pressure affects me less than most people. I would still be tempted by the things of this world, but its pull takes a longer time to ensnare me. No man can ever resist the siren call of the world.

I have difficulty socializing. My genetic heritage is drawn from the men of China’s past; brave men who silently provided financial support and cared little about family (and in my case, cared little for social functions, etc.) I suspect I have Asperger’s, and that my family must have suffered from it as well.

People crave attention, social cohesion, acceptance, love. I am no different. But I have always known I will always be apart from people. Am I arrogant, thinking not of other people? No, it is not that.

Unlike most people, I have come to a most shocking conclusion: I will always be alone, should I try to seek acceptance from the world. For the world only loves you if you conform to it. I have always been a misfit since birth, naive and trusting, like a shepherd who guards the flock. (Incidentally did you know that shepherding was considered to be a dirty profession by the Egyptians and that shepherds were considered to be outcasts between the 1st Century BC/BCE and the 1st Century AD/CE?)

I would also like to add this: Ever since I was 9, I realized that there is no such thing as a good human and that the best thing for humanity would be it’s destruction. Yeah, I know that I’m holding myself and humanity to an impossible standard and knocking down the good in the world down a few pegs, making evil look good, but then again, Evil always looks good, and we all tend to seek the easy way out.

My mind’s horribly messed up. I have always known this. My teachers knew this. Heck even the whole darned system knew it. They tried to break me, coercing me first, then using emotional shock therapy. I have never agreed with them and I never will agree with them.

I was glad to have friends who cared for me (even though they too were caught up more in this world rather than the Truth), I really appreciate their help. Their presence has helped me weather many a storm in life.

Unfortunately I have always known that I will be alone. I cannot even rely on myself. I am weak and pitiful, and prone to rebel. Job said it well when he uttered the following:

Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither.[2]

In the context of this,  Job was a very pious man, thinking not of himself but for others, namely his family.
He worshipped the LORD, and made offerings for his sons and daughters, thinking that they might have sinned. But great calamity befell him, and he lost all that he had. And even then he acknowledged the LORD.

What’s the meaning of this? It means this: You are alone, from birth till death, though wrapped in the loving hands of those who love you, but you cannot take them with you when you die.

Even King Solomon knew this very well. He said:

There was a man all alone;
he had neither son nor brother.
There was no end to his toil,
yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.
“For whom am I toiling,” he asked,
“and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?”
This too is meaningless—
a miserable business![3]

Oh, how foolish we are, to try to fill this empty void in our lives with either relationshhips or material possessions, which are but temporal, and worth nothing to us when we die.

But if nothing of this earth can fill that void in our lives, who can? Or rather, what?

Let us turn to the words of a compassionate but eccentric Irish man, who lived in the 19th century. His name is Joseph Scriven, and he knows the feeling of being lonely all too well. After all, he lost two brides and he never fully recovered.

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear.
What a privilege to carry, ev’rything to God in Prayer.
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry, ev’rything to God in Prayer.

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful, who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee? take it to the Lord in prayer;
in his arms He’ll take and shield thee, thou wilt find a solace there. [4]

Yes, it is Jesus. The King of Kings, Emmanuel, Christ. The one who so willingly gave his life for us. He is the only friend we have, and need. For he represents God, who loved us so, that he gave Him to us, so that we may no longer die, but have everlasting life [5].

He is the One who shares in your joys, your disappointments, knows your hopes and dreams, and He will never leave you. Ever. He was there from the Beginning, and He will still be there in the End. He is patient, He is kind. He does not envy, He does not boast, He is not proud. He is not rude, He is not self-seeking, He is not easily angered, He keeps no record of wrongs. He does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.[6]

God is Love. He loves us so, and He still does. Are you willing to let Him in and be your friend?

Notes and stuff:

[1] Rebuttal to Koji Oe and bluemist
[2] Job 1:21, KJV
[3] Ecclesiastes 4:8, NIV
[4] What A Friend We Have In Jesus, Joseph Medlicott Scriven (1819-1886), melody by Charles Crozat Converse (1834-1918) Read more about it.
[5] Referencing John 3:16-17.
[6] Modification of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Also references Proverbs 18:24. If God is Love, do not these verses serve to exemplify his Love and faithfulness?