Game Over. Mirror Moon OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!, Internets 0

Game over guys, the Internet has been prank’d EPIC HARDCORE.

By Mirror Moon.

I bow to their superior trolltelect.

Nothing can beat this kind of epic ownage. Tons of bricks were shat. I kid you not.

True Tears, Neverending drama and fanboy hype: Why Bandai is passing up an epic chance to introduce animé to the masses

True Tears is epic. True Tears has DEEP DRAMA. True Tears is BETTER THAN CLANNAD (That last bit a complete lie. CLANNAD, as a game, is way better than True Tears.). Geez people, give the fanboying a rest already. You’re triggering my cynic sense.

Reading pro-True Tears polemic is like me reading a variety of anti-religion propaganda. Not all of it is good reading, and some of it is downright condescending. On the other hand, reading anti-True Tears polemic is like seeing 4chan SaiGar shitstorms. Will you stop being so shallow already, you naysayers.

My opinion? True Tears seems to be a masterfully-executed show, with writing worthy of Chinese/Korean drama scriptwriters. It’s all good, yeah, but I’ve seen it before.

I’m sorry to rain on your parade, True Tears fanboys, but I’ve seen this kind of stuff before. On TV. Before I knew about animé. I was watching Chinese dramas and local dramas which had the same amount of quality you close-minded fanboys laud True Tears for. Heck, if I could list a recent example of the same kind of drama, I’d be listing Heroes. And for those of you who rail at me for daring to list some “shitty American TV show”, I’ll list K-dramas. One Liter of Tears, Winter Sonata, blah blah blah. (LOL When will it ever end lololol)

In fact, I’m more impressed with the scriptwriter’s ability to write something people fanboy over, because honestly, the original material is utter shit. Otaku do not like True Tears the game, so it’s not just a complete surprise, but complete and utter shock, that they are fanboying the animated series to such a level.

But the funny thing is this: I see an opportunity to market this show (at least in Asia) to an altogether different group of people. If True Tears is a drama on par with the likes of Winter Sonata, why not market it to the same people who watch Winter Sonata et al? I bet the number of people who watch Korean, Taiwanese, or Chinese drama far exceed the number of people willing to pay for True Tears DVDs. Some may call me crazy, but I see a golden opportunity to rake in NICE BOATloads of cash by making a few wise marketing moves. There’s no harm in trying such a stunt, or at least conducting focus group testing for this show, at the very least.

So there you have it. What I think of True Tears. I’m more impressed with the fact PA Works took a license that sucked and made it into something that worked rather that the OH SO DEEP drama, or the whole “IT’S IN THE SUBTEXT” shitstorm it generated.

…And as for “subtext”, it’s visual storytelling. Where the fuck is this “subtext”? Facial expressions, body language, intonation, character interaction and other visual, aural and sociological cues, this isn’t “subtext”, it’s the art of visual storytelling. (And on a personal note, I think the term itself is pretty pretentious)

AN EPIC SPOILER FLIES IN AT ABOUT 500 METRES

When you’ll read it you’ll shit bricks. OF BLOOD. (spoiler after the cut)

No seriously this is an epic spoiler and it will fuck your world so hard so don’t click the cut.

I’m serious, if you want to be happy you had better go away now.

If you are Chidori fans, GET THE FUCK OUT.

Still here? Don’t say I didn’t warn ya…

Let’s get a couple of things clear.

First of all, for anyone who hasn’t noticed, Bandai Entertainment and Bandai Visual are not two different companies. They belong to the same parent company, Namco Bandai Holdings, Limited. That means if someone inside Bandai Visual fucks up, someone in Namco Bandai Holdings, Limited, fucked up as well. So don’t pretend that Bandai Visual and Bandai Entertainment are two different companies when both companies belong to the same PARENT COMPANY. If Bandai Visual gets bad press, Namco Bandai Holdings, Limited, should also get some of the bad press. (Which also posits a suggestion: A total boycott on all things with the Bandai logo (and ideally, the Namco label as well.) on it. Model Kits, anything Gundam, Devil May Cry, you get the picture.)

Secondly, about Japan finally cracking down on doujin games, well, who didn’t see it coming? Patrick Macias (O HAY MR. MACIAS AGAIN) sure friggen did, albeit in a much different way. And for Pete’s sake, Shingo reported on the crackdowns as early as June (I think).  It’s only a matter of time before they turn Otakon, Animé Expo, or Comiket into bloodbaths. For Prohibition eventually leads into total murder. Since people are the root cause to his sticky wicket, why not listen to Nicollo Macheveli and put some fear into your customers, aka, killing all those who oppose your pricing schemes and decrees. Once they realize that copyright infringement leads to death, they’ll never use the Internet again. :V (Yes I know he only mentioned the elimination of all opposition, but when your opposition spans the globe, killing only the bare minimum gets tricky, and you either get creative or up the body count.)

Thirdly, I finished Utawarerumono, and it was awesome. A shame Leaf loev scifi too much to drop it from the game, tho :V. Also in no particular order:

• Yay linear narrative
• Touka is love :3
• Some minor BAWWWWage at the end
• TOUKA ENTERS HAKUORO’S ROOM WITH RAPE IN HER EYES
• Oboro is gay and a joke device. No rly. His archer trap twin servants don’t help his “I’m not homosexual” cause much either.
• Touka Touka Touka :3
• Mutsumi is sexy armpits and BAWWWWWWWWWWW :V

Freedom vs Prohibition: Why both routes will not stop an industry from dying

(If you notice any Biblical references, can it. The reliability of The Bible is not something I am willing to debate about now and it’s not even relevant.)

It seems like the epic fail that is the fansub debate will never end until one side is utterly decimated.

On one hand you have the stuff should be for free zealots. They go on about freedom of the Internet and how businesses should adopt business models to the Internet and freedom of information and such. These people are complete idiots.

On the other hand are the industry rags, people who promote being corporate whores in order to keep an industry on life-support. They think that all animé fans should support legal means of getting animé, or else they are hypocrites and whatnot. These people are also complete idiots. (And for the record, Mr. Zac BerYourFrickingSurnameIsTooHardToPronounce, let’s use the terms ’sinner’ to replace ‘annoying leech’. Since you seem to be preaching some messed-up sort of ‘gospel’, that term should suit the people you detest just fine.)

Why are both groups of people idiots? Because it wouldn’t matter which path the industry takes, it’s going to die a horrible death either way. It only depends how long do you want an industry to die.

Let’s say the industry finally decides to stop prosecuting fansubbers, not sue downloaders, etc. Total freedom of information, at least for animé. It’ll be a freewheeling anarchy, where people do as they like, grab raws and fansub whatever they like, it’s good news for the industry, right?

That’s where the fun stops and the troubles begin. You see, the overseas animé industry is nothing but a dumping ground for Japan to recoup their losses in the domestic market. The same kind of freewheeling chaos I mentioned earlier exists within the Japanese market. Comiket may seem huge and whatnot, but it’s actually a celebration of depravity and lack of control. Perversions run rampant. Copyrights are being violated like hotcakes being sold. And the funny thing is, none of the cash generated by Comiket and its associated/related events ever go back into the industry. And without money, you don’t get new animé to obsess on. Long story short, no money from domestic sales leads to overseas selling, lack of overseas funds leads to cutting of production costs, which leads to the making of less animé, which will eventually lead to the collapse of the industry as a whole.

It’s interesting to note that we have a parallel for freedom leading to destruction. It’s called the Book of Judges, and it chronicles the history of Israel before they had a king. There’s a lot of stories in the Book of Judges, but one line always stands out. “In those days there was no king in Israel; every man did that which was right in his own eyes.” Except for three people, anyway, but that’s not the point.

Israel, during the time of Judges, was kind of like the situation in Japan regarding copyrights. Everyone did what they felt was right. Of course there were laws telling them what to do, but without someone actively hammering these laws into their heads, they slowly forgot these laws. Of course, the punishment for not following these laws were rather severe; Israel was conquered many times. But even though they were saved when they cried out for help, they soon forgot the laws and again they were conquered by a foreign power.

With that said, Prohibition seems the way to go, yes?

Ironically, Prohibition will also lead to the collapse of the industry, only this time, asinine regulations prevent fans from legally purchasing what they like.

In theory, it all sounds fine. Throw in a couple of laws, kill a few thousand downloaders, DMCA fansubbers out of existence, and you have a ready line of cash. Sounds like a capitalist’s dream, right? Guess what? It’s not as easy as it looks.

First of all, people will get what they want, even if they have to resort to illegal means to get it. And by taking out the most obvious targets, it makes the rest wiser and harder to catch. It’s like a vicious cycle of Darwinism in action. Elimination of the weakest makes the survivors stronger and harder to kill or eradicate. And even if enforcement proves to be wholly effective, there’s still the limited selection to deal with. Not everyone likes to be told what to do, or in this case, buy.

We’ve seen the effects of Prohibition firsthand. An Era of Prohibition in America failed to stop alcoholics from getting alcohol. RIAA lawsuits have failed to make a dent in illegal music downloads. Suing The Pirate Bay and DMCAing sites like Torrentfreak have failed to stop people from getting free software. Ivory is still being traded illegally. Drugs still get into the hands of addicts. Heck, even my idea of killing innocents to prove a point may not stop people from getting what they want. Killing people may have worked in Vlad Tepes’ time for law enforcement (say what you will about the death penalty, but Vlad Tepes DID eradicate poverty and crime when he was in power. People in Romania still view him as a hero because of that.), but pure greed is far harder to stop, even if we resort to Vlad the Impaler’s tactics. It sure didn’t stop him from being defeated by the Ottomans the second time they invaded. (I’m not too sure if he did use the same psychological blow he used the first time round.)

And what’s even funnier is this: the industry would still die anyway. Instead of the industry imploding quickly, it dies a slow, long death. Trust me, it’s not fun seeing people (or industries) die slowly.

In both cases, no one would pay for stuff or acknowledge the fact that their actions will kill the industry. Both sides pull out the same tired arguments again and again.  Heck, people may call one another stupid names just because they don’t agree with their side of the argument. And it creates avenues for unscrupulous, shady entities to extort money.

If both methods fail to stop the death knell from sounding, what will? Honestly, I don’t know. Anything I suggest now would not make an iota of change. And the only way I know to save the industry, it will take me the rest of my adult life and then some to accomplish.

You tell me how to save this dying (and most probably dead) industry. I’m at a complete loss for ideas here.

A question for anyone who cares.

How would you market a show to a hardcore freeloader? You know, the one who hates buying stuff, grabs shows off the Internet just because TV is “crap”, torrents games and the like, and thinks he or she is entitled to free stuff just because it is on the Internet? How would you market a product/show/game/whatever to such a person so that he’ll pay for stuff? And if you can’t sell anything to them, how would you deal with such an uncooperative and disruptive presence?

Drm note: I’m so bored I don’t even feel like flaming Zac BerHowDoIPronounceThatSurname for being an Internet dickhead. He’d fit in with the /b/tards quite well.

EPIC HEARTBREAK. EPIC TOMOYO. EPIC CRYING.

This is why we cannot have ni- wait, wrong topic.

Let’s move on.

• Tomoyo.
• More Tomoyo.
• Even more Tomoyo.
• Sunohara gets owned.
• Epic lunch showdown. Also Fuuko is not dead.
• Epic heartburn.
• Nagisa is magically cured.
• Epic scandal.
• Epic manly things being done. (I was on the ball for this one? WTF?)
• Sunohara gets owned in an epic fashion.
• Epic heartbreak. Also, Tomoyo looks hot in that tennis getup
• Kyou and Ryou CRY. HAPPY NOW, TOMOYA. YOU SICK CRE- Wait, this isn’t True Tears LOL
• Oh lookie, Tomoyo is elected. Hooray for the democratic process  /rimshot

BLAH HAR. For once, Fuuko did not kill the atmosphere, but heightened and made it lulz. This is somewhat shocking. oh well. It ain’t stopping her from being exterminated.

And no one thinks Tomoyo is friggin’ delusional. Good. Also, Tomoyo has brocon? O_O ARGH SHE MIGHT HIT ON MAH YUUNO. OR WORSE, KOGIL O_O NOES~

It’s also interesting to note how Tomoyo and Kyou react upon learning TOMOYA’S TERRIBLE SECRET OF TIME AN- Errr… … He loev Nagisa. I suppose Tomoyo would cry when she’s alone and all, but uh… … … I lost my train of thought.

I think everyone wants Tomoyo to be their wife. Or something.

NEXT WEEK: THEY’RE DOING AFTER STORY WTF. I RAN OUT OF EPIC SAYINGS AFTER REALIZING THIS. NAGISA DIES. WTF?

Tengan Toppan Gurren Lagann: A message of hope for the new millennium

(This is actually a series review.)

Yes people I actually spent the Lupercalia (or St. Valentine’s Day to most people around the world) marathoning this show.

…Where do I begin? It’s apparently very hard to start describing the greatness of this show. I could begin by saying it was a great piece of animation from start to finish, had some rather good writing, memorable characters (in both personality and looks), epic mecha porn (lol), and generally lived up to expectations. For me, that means HOLY CRAP THIS SHOW IS GOOD.

Unfortunately, that generic praise only scratches the surface of a series whose awesomeness has to be seen to be believed.  It’s that good of a show. Heck, if it made a ton of money in DVD sales, I’d hazard to call it a milestone in animé history. because it has all the hallmarks of it.

I’ll admit it’s not a perfect piece of work. Episode 4 stirred up a massive shitstorm because it was, by otaku standards, a crap episode. Personally, I thought it wasn’t that bad an episode in terms of story. some people complained the post-timejump storyline was weak. I found it a bit typical, but it’s execution was brilliant, the typicalness of it was washed away in a flurry of galaxy-flinging epic robot battle. People thought the ending was WTF, and I don’t blame them. Most of them watched Eva at some point in their lives and wanted something like Eva’s EoE ending (aka Simon kills them all). I’ll talk about that below. And Boota turning human was completely WTF. Cute molehamsters should remain cute molehamsters unless the other form is hawt shotabait.

But going beyond the obvious, there is a message. One that we all should take notice before whining over minor quibbles like episode 4 and the mild weakness of the timejump or even the ending.

It is a message of hope. A message of hope in a new millennium steeped in despair. Despair that was depicted in Eva. If anything, Gurren Lagann tells us a fundamental message: Don’t give up hope. As seen in the series, the cast of Gurren lagann is cast into all sorts of situations that would drive them to despair. From Simon’s initial encounter to the crushing truth about the dangers of Spiral energy, did he sit back, mope in a corner and listen to Linkin Park all day? Actually, he did mope around for a while. But there was always someone to pick him up, tell him that all is not lost, and that as long as he had hope, things would always turn out for the best. Even if he had to be slugged to do so.

Of course the journey would never be smooth-sailing (ROSSIU LIED, PEOPLE ALMOST DIED, SIMON LOSES NIA, KAMINA DIES, KITTAN DIES, etc), life never was all that smooth in the first place. We make mistakes, we fuck up every once in a while. We aren’t perfect beings. However, we can’t just sit around moping forever. We are not like that spineless Ikari flaming pussy faggot. Inside, we are pretty much like Simon, an indomitable fighting spirit that may be dampened, but never broken.

Every scene, every action, it is all scripted to portray hope. Even despair is used to show this. The very same despair that plagues Eva and this world, it is used to show a fundamental truth: Even in the darkest hour, hope springs eternal. Even the ending served to show that. Simon entrusted the future of Earth and the Universe to the people he trusted AND hoped would make the future happen, instead of, let’s say, blowing the Universe up? I know a ton of people wanted this, but it goes to show how steeped in despair these people are. For Simon, the hero of the Universe, to put his hopes on people who, as we have seen, could very well fuck up and fail, is the best embodiment of hope. That, my friends, is the best example to Kamina’s words. Simon kicked reason to the curb, believed in them that believed in him, and did the impossible. It was a most fitting ending.

As a post-Reformation Protestant Christian, I tend to see this outpouring of hope in a completely different light than most people. I have been taught that I am a messenger of good news, etc, but oddly enough, I don’t see many Christians feeling that way. It’s like they know, but they don’t feel that way. It’s a rather strange observation, I admit, but it’s true.  It does not matter what denomination the sod belongs to, the general sentiment is the same. Today’s Christian is, unfortunately, sorely lacking in hope and good faith.

What sets Christianity apart from all other religions is a message of hope. It’s the same message shown in Gurren Lagann, but told differently. And yet, instead of kicking reason to the curb and believing in hope (and God), we have become what we feared. We have become like the Pharisees, caring about our outside appearances, but on the inside, we are nothing but depraved creatures. (Don’t lecture me about human nature and instincts, but when things go bad, people revert back to animal instincts in order to stay alive, and when times are good, people resort to their animal instincts to ensure that the good times stay, what does that say about human nature, eh?)

It doesn’t matter if you’re Christian, Buddhist, or even atheist. The humanist message of hope in Gurren Lagann is meant for all. Watch it, and be forever renewed in the belief of hope.

PS: Post-timejump Ginny is very, very hittable. As is a fair amount of the female cast. But mostly Ginny have I mentioned I would hit on post-timejump Ginny?

PPS: You may now proceed with the zombie Kamina jokes and about him wanting Simon’s spleen

Today’s Special: 10 Girls we love to hate because of their actions and why we should love them anyway

In complete dishonor of the day of love and overly-priced foodstuffs and flowers relating to love and all that commercial junk related to it, and since everyone and their mother would most likely have put up a post on it already, I’ll just break tradition and post up a list of 10 females who have unfortunately did something bad. Real bad. Like “Oh shit I murdered a few hundred people” bad.

In no particular order:

• Sonozaki Mion
  Crime: Murder
• Sonozaki Shion
  Crime: Murder (yes the “oshi I killed a few hundred people”schtick”)
• Ryuugu Reina/Rena/Takeithomegirl
  Crime:Murder
• Hayase Mitsuki
  Crime: Adultery
• Fuyou Kaede
  Crime: Assault, Blackmail
• Morimiya Aono
  Crime: Murder
• Katsura Kotonoha
  Crime: Murder, Suicide
• Ryougi Shiki
  Crime: Murder (and looking gorgeous in a kimono )
• Caster
  Crime: Murder, Blackmail
• Kohaku
  Crime: Plotted the genocide of a an ancient lineage because she was raped horribly as a child.

The Hebrew word for love, “ahava”, has a much deeper meaning when we analyze the word in it’s original Hebrew. When analyzed in it’s original language, it means, “I give love”. That means love is to be given, not received.

There is no such thing as no one undeserving of love (maybe Mitsuki, but I have no idea about KGnE, so… … …). It’s the day of love, and darnit, spread the love. Give it to someone you may not like. Unless both of you have ideological differences that cannot be resolved. Then I suppose you can take your time.

What’s a genre?

No seriously. That’s the first question that came to my mind when I read all that crap about genre and stuff.

It’s mostly because of how I view genre. Personally, I’ve got only one genre, and that’s the “AWESOME” genre. I give all shows the full run, watching them from start to finish before I either file it under “AWESOME” or not. Sometimes, it takes less than 5 minutes, like in the case of Overman King Gainer (under the ’so silly it’s awesome’ OP lies a gem of a show) and Gurren Lagann (no further praise needed), some may take a bit longer (Shana, etc), while others have to run it’s course in order to show off it’s awesomeness (School Days comes to mind). Some, unfortunately, don’t make it to AWESOME status, and I drop it like a hot lead weight (Chocotto SisFUCK, Eva(The irony is that I’m giving Eva a second chance to redeem itself; it’s not looking good for Anno)).

What genre does for me is to give me some pointers of what to expect. For example, if I’m about to watch a mecha series, I should be expecting to see some robots. If it’s a harem, there’s the possibility of some boy being the object of adoration. Comedy? There should be some wacky hijinks. Eh, you get the drill.

That’s how I roll, anyway. And yes, thar be dolljoints and boatlights.

As for genre being antiquated rubbish, well, I don’t really have an opinion on this. But I can assure you one thing: genre’s pretty important to the people who write. No one just decides to write about some pretty picture. It’ll be weird and definitely not very interesting. In fact, for most novice writers, genres are pretty important as they learn the ropes. Without a framework of clichés and possible plot points to build on, how can one improve his or her writing? You tell me the answer to that, and I’ll retract my argument. And no, you may not say a ton of constructive criticism. I’ve already considered that. (And yes I’m aware of the problems with relying too heavily on genre.)