Sunohara has a sister, and Sunohara is a surname? Patrickness!

CLANNAD is still awesome in my book no matter what people say. And no, I’m not a KyoAnitard (I really didn’t like Lucky Star much…), I’m a KEYTARD. Waaaaaaaait.

Let’s recap the plot of this episode shall we?

• Nagisa et al wants to reform the drama club, but oh noes a rival appears at 300 metres.
• Osnapz Sunohara has an imouto (Oi, TakaJun, IMOUTO!)
• Oshi rival threatens Nagisa to butt out
• Sunohara haet people giving weak excuses to justify something, flips out
• Moar Nagisa crying, and srs bsnss happens.
• KYOU COCKBLOCK
• Tomoya and Sunohara spend an evening with Yukine (No not that kind of an evening; I wish it was THAT kind of an evening) and Sunohara gets a brainwave.
• Tomoya and Tomoyo :3 Yay Tomoyo :3 Also short Tomoyo is short. And Fuuko needs to be cleansed, purged, killed. Bloody heretic. Stay dead, in the name of the Immortal Emperor. Or face the wrath of the Ordo Hereticus.
• Early the next morning, Sunohara forces Tomoya to play basketball.
• Tomoya tells Nagisa a horrible lie about Sunohara (He’s friggen homosexual, but in reality, it’s Tomoya who’s the homo one.)
• …and then Nagisa helps Tomoya cover his silly silly lie, by telling the kinda sorta truth. Which makes Sunohara very very sad. Also Mei appears.
• Sunohara has a very cute imouto :3

Now to cover a few related points raised by people.

Hinano: Yes, Kyou was technically cockblocking, but it wasn’t intentional. Kyou might be lots of things (sexy, horny, etc) but she’s definitely not a cockblocker. In fact, if i were anti-Nagisa, I’d be saying Nagisa is doing the cockblocking. And no, Kyou can’t win. It’s set up for epic heartbreak for Kyou ;-;

Yes we know Mei is cute (OSNAPZ TAMURA YUKARI VOICES MEI):3

Sunohara, a homosexual? You on drugs or something? Sunohara is definitely not a homosexual. That (dis)honor goes straight to Tomoya. He’s the one who uttered “Sunohara, be my Sunohara.”. It’s true. Tomoya has homosexual tendencies.

Fuuko must die? Heh. *spaz* IN THE NAME OF THE EMPEROR, HERETIC, DIE *unspaz* Gah. Too much Warhammer 40K.

Next episode: MOAR TOMOYO :3 MOAR MEI :3 MOAR KYOU :3 MOAR SUNOHARA :3 THIS THURSDAY. BE THERE OR BE SQUARE.

Dubs, crappy packaging, and inferior R1s: What ADV et al will not tell you about why their products are epic fail

(I had an awesome post typed out and then WordPress ated it ;-;)

Don’t tell me I don’t know anything about the bloody debate about fansubs hurting the industry. I’ve read the arguments, waded through the flaming, read about Zac Berwhatshisname putting down animé blogs that do episode summaries, and waded through literally the TONS of FUD from BOTH SIDES about the whole bloody issue. Yes, even Arthur Smith and Justin Sevakis. I’ve heard enough utter nonsense and foolish chickenscratchings from both sides claiming this and that. You guys sicken me, arguing over absolutely nothing when the truth is just a Google search away.

Seriously, guys, is it too much to ask anyone to Google “Why are prices in Japan so DAMN high“? Oh wait. It IS too much to ask anyone on the Internets to Google for the truth.

Not exactly breaking news: Something about cross-border litigation and copyrights.

Boy, am I filled with a ton of piss and vinegar.

Enough piss and vinegar to, uh, do something.

Have at thee.

Though what does this mean? It means that for now, the ruling stands. However, there is a legal loophole. What would happen if the Japanese studios take the easy way out and let the company do the “enforcing”? Wouldn’t that null the ruling?

Trust me, I don’t like it at all. It’s sinister, to tell you the truth. And a lot of people are going to lose all faith in the courts and the Government. If this gets out to the local media, that is.

It’s making me want to become an ascetic (a monk, Catholic Priest, etc). No really.

Because copping out is fun (no thanks to Owen and kur0gane :P)

BUTTSECHZ :3

Cast thy bread upon the waters: for thou shalt find it after many days.

Personally I’m not too sure about the meaning of Ecclesiastes 11:1, but it does bear an uncanny resemblance to how the suitcase got to Kotomi, so there.

…Yeah, I suppose I’m overdue for a “Theology in Animé” post. Bear with me as I proselytize, preach and otherwise annoy committed atheists, agnostics, people of other religions, and probably more than my fair share of Neo-Puritans with my gross misinterpretation and “cherrypicking” of select verses from the Book of Ecclesiastes. For those of you who are not wanting me to die in a fire, be stood on trial for heresy, blasphemy and something else or think of me asan idiot for finding meaning in something as shallow as this, please, read on.

I’m all too aware of the situation of religion in Japan.  For a long time, the Japanese were deeply religious, going so far as to invite Jesuit priests in the 15th century to learn about Christianity. And it took root, garnering a whole gaggle of converts, even a shogun believed. However, the Jesuit priests were chased out, Shinto and emperor worship was reinstated, and then came World War 2 and the atom bomb.

After that came rapid modernization, and Japan threw away it’s deep reverence for religion in order to succeed in the global economy. Today, most Japanese pay only lip service to Shinto, Buddhism, and many other religions, because they have replaced their deep reverence for religion with a love for money. The Japanese have become, almost overnight, a shallow and self-gratifying nation with little attention paid to religion.

Which is why I was pleasantly surprised (and rather suspicious) when I saw Kotomi’s parents allude to God for the beauty of this world, and to stretch it, String Theory and M-theory (I’m quite aware that they were quantum physicists, and yes I do have a copy of Stephen Hawking’s The Universe In A Nutshell. I’m also aware that the harps are an allusion to String Theory.).

And if that wasn’t crazy enough, what we have here is probably the only instance of an animé character praying. You heard me right, Christian Prayer, in animé. It’s a shocking development, I have to admit. I could go on and on about Christianity in animé, but this is about Kotomi and Clannad, not a general treatise about religion and Japan. I’m still mildly shocked.

If you asked me which scenes were the most moving in Kotomi’s story (as presented in animated form), there’s quite a few. For starters, the bus crash. We originally see Kotomi as a relatively happy, if mildly socially inept, young woman. Except for a few pieces of foreshadowing, we wouldn’t have noticed her crying. The bus crash, however changes our perceptions of her almost instantly. Instead of the happy young woman we see 2 episodes past, we see an emotional wreck. Helpless. Unable to act. Someone perpetually trapped in a never ending nightmare. Old wounds gashed anew as a gruesome sight resurfaces repressed memories. Indeed, the memories we don’t remember are the most dangerous ones of all.

It’s a different, emotionally distraught Kotomi we see here. Tormented by the demons of her past, she loses all sense of control. The vulnerability we noticed right from the start transforms into reality as she remembers the past she has worked so hard to suppress. Her anguished screams, her yearning for her parents, her incoherent mumblings of promises, it’s a most depressing sight. Just writing about it almost makes me want to burst into tears.

And then we come to the room scene. Here it is revealed just how much Kotomi misses her parents. Her yearning for parental love causes her to develop an obsessive compulsive disorder, cutting out articles with her parents’ names on it.
It shows a much darker side to Kotomi, and impresses on us just how much she misses her parents. Alone, in that room, she weeps, shutting herself away from her friends, keeping her sorrows to herself. It’s tragic. It’s depressing. It makes me want to cry.

It still puzzles me as to Kotomi’s change of heart when she goes to kiss Tomoya. Did she secretly watch from the window , just how much her friends cared for her, even though all they did was gardening? Or was it the sight of Tomoya slogging it out alone that made her change her ways? Surely it was hinted at, but it still puzzles me. How could someone steeped in depression and guilt finally could find the courage to smile? Not that it doesn’t make sense in real life, but this is fiction we’re talking about here.

And then, the teddy. The final scene that made us all cry our hearts out. It’s the apotheosis, the change. An emotional tearjerker of an ending. It represents the final change in Kotomi’s development, her finally realizing that her parents really and truly loved her. But is it truly her parents’ unconditional love that finally moved her, or was it something else? Actually it was a double helping. Remeber how hard Kotomi prayed when she realized she would never see her parents again? I tell you this, this was her prayer, answered. The teddy bear, the symbol of love from her parents, lost to time when the plane crashed. It passed through many hands, all of them wishing for the suitcase to be returned to it’s rightful place. Indeed, I could again blame it on the writers as a cheap trick to garner more tears from people, but who am I to mask the beauty of God’s love for his children? He hath made every thing beautiful in his time, and the most beautiful thing of all is His love. Whither should I mar something He hath made beautiful? It would be a heinous sin to do so.

I really, really love Kotomi (even though Kyou should deserve more love, her heart is being set up for heartbreak). Partly because she is so vulnerable. Underneath her quiet beauty lies a broken little girl. She needs the warm love of her friends, her family, even God, but in her sorrow, she rejects them all. How could one love someone so broken as her? I don’t know. I’ve always fallen for the broken and destitute in animé. It’s not a personal preference, I admit. To be honest, I’d rather have Tomoyo or Ryou/Kyou over Kotomi, but something in my heart overrules my logic. Am I a sick, perverted young man who wants an easier lay? Maybe. It’s quite possible my compassion may be a mask to hide my true intentions. I’m still broken inside too, just differently. (One could also argue that by falling for 2D females, Im pretty screwed anyway, so there. It’s easier to love an image than a real woman.)

I suppose I’ve rambled on too much. I really should plan out these posts. But to round it off: Kotomi is love, she does not suffer from Asperger’s, and episodes 10-14 were some of the most beautiful episodes I’ve ever seen. I think I shed a tear at the last part.

Also, next up: Nagisa! Hinano must be going nuts with joy.

Russian Discovers Sick Loli Shugo Chara Rape Doujins, Throws A Hissy Fit

By A. Hamsterling, With additional reporting by B. Poring

Local animé blogger Hinano was terribly distraught when she saw her favorite show, Shugo Chara, having sick loli rape doujins. She threw a massive Russian hissy fit which left her mostly in tears and rage.

“Holy shit that was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever fucking read.” was what our intrepid reporter got when he pressed Hinano for an interview. Still in a state of shock, she continued on. “I was hoping at first they’d have Ikuto come save her or something but no, it was a bunch of sick fuck bullshit the whole time, with the last panel her saying “I want to die”. Who wouldn’t?“

“Stop making Shugo Chara hentai doujin. She’s fucking 11 years old. Stop making doujins about her peeing, and most of all stop making doujins about her getting raped by her dad who is “possessed by an evil egg” bullshit. God the sick fuck who made this needs to go shoot himself in the head or jump off a building.” Our reporter found this hawt disturbing, and we had to pull him outta there before we had to pay for his funeral.

Her significant other was not available for comment.
She was last seen marching towards Japan with an AK47, a nuke and for no good reason, mint humbugs.

(Yes Hinano I am an asshole and my sense of humor is horrible. You may put down the pitchforks and torches now I apologize for being a meanie ;-;)

Shiori made me do it! I swear on this stack of eroge that that last accusation was true!

WTF. No seriously. WTF.

So Japan arrests people for copyright infringement but NOT for unleashing a virus on the Internet that could potentially cripple the whole Internet and it’s mother? And they tell me why Japan is going to the gaijins.

…On reading the article again, it’s pretty clear who we should hurl abuse at. Bandai. And for no good reason, the otaku still love the company. We need to learn how to make injection molds. YA RLY.

This is why we cannot even have indecent things to fap to.

(OMFG A PRE-ARTICLE TL;DR: Just fyi, I don’t care enough to give a logical, well-thought-out response. I just wanted to see how many times I could use the phrase wild crazy monkey buttsex without resorting to cheap tricks.)

So bateszi has decided that the community sucks because everyone, their mother, their pet dog, lolcat and lolhamster are bloody sellouts for doing what he deems “mass-market blogging” (aka lol I can has episode summaries), while the (Dead) Sea Slugs Colophon (or maybe it’s just Kabitzin grousing) are defending their right to be bloody sellouts too (and rueing the day that they took that ill-fated trip to Lake Ontario, which left them dead in the (fresh)water), while Jeff Lawson thinks that we all should get along and have wild crazy monkey buttsex. Oh Zyl thinks selling out is fine too assuming you are not a cat but if you are he thinks a cat is fine too. Also Koji Oe says hi. Mmmmmmm, wild crazy monkey buttsex.

Now, while it may seem fair and proper to laugh at the entire matter, cherrypick juicy hateful verses from The Good Book, and come to the conclusion that anime is the spawn of Satan and it and all of its followers should be burned at the stake for insulting my mother (along with Japan, Geroge W Bush et al, the Neo-Puritans screwing with the United States with their doggerel and dogma, wild crazy monkey buttsex, etc), it just won’t fly in today’s politically-correct, anal-retentive, self-centered world. Also I am a Politically-Correct, Equal-Opportunity Pissant. That means I am a cake, and the cake is a lie . Also means that I do my best and do what I must (for those that are Still Alive~) to agitate a large enough bunch of Internets People, and epically fail in doing so, thus becoming the laughingstock of trolls, flamers, and 4chan.

And while it does seem like good fun to laugh at the penises and armpits of all those who took the drama bait and disparage their mothers, insult their choice of clothes, and make snide remarks about their throwing and sex life, the reality is, these jokes aren’t funny (and SERIOUS BUSINESS) enough. Also I have a SERIOUS BUSINESS post about Clannad, Kotomi, and, uh, Stephen Hawking taking a slow boat to Norway, teaching the passengers about String Theory and M-theory, while doing his best to save the doomed movie known to many as “Snakes On A Plane” by looking for loopholes in the Laws Of Physics (And Aeronautical Safety. And Wild Crazy Monkey Buttsex.).

So instead, I’ll just pretend to quote Andrew Keen, from his book, The Cult Of The Amateur, which is lousy book that shits on individuality, artists and content creators while failing to understand the fact that the “status quo” is doing a fine job of killing creativity and profiting from it, and then it makes a killing off the dead body and it’s mother, while failing to understand why people would rather talk about their cars than watch FOX NEWS(LOL) or CNN or MSNBC, while spewing misinformation and generally making otherwise nice men who read this book very, very angry.

…a pajama army of mostly anonymous, self-referential writers who exist… … …to spread gossip… … …and link to stories on imaginative topics…

They flaunt their lack of training and formal qualifications as evidence of their calling, their passion, and their selfless pursuit of the truth, claiming that their amateur status allows them to give us a less biased, less-filtered picture of this world than we get from traditional news. In reality, this is not so.

(Yes this is all from Andrew Keen’s book. No I am not making this up. Yes there is some schmuck who thinks we should go back to sucking the cock of people like Rupert Murdoch because he thinks we should be corporate whores. Also something about Wild Crazy Monkey Buttsex.)

Think about all the wild crazy monkey buttsex we could be having right now if we stopped fighting and just got along. It’ll be the best time ever.

(PS: The phrase appeared 7 times.)

I. Hate. SAUERKRAUT!

Note to self: Do not use WordPress at work.

Posts get eaten as if it was being sexually assaulted by a grue, and I already had that thing typed out, TWICE.

Would you dispose of her?

No seriously, people.

If the Weighted Companion Cube was actually Kotomi from Clannad, would you still do what it takes, for those that are Still Alive~?

Personally, I’d experiment with the tip of the Aperture Science HandHeld Portal Device before the merest speck of a line of a flash of that thought would ever cross my mind.

And no, don’t let the cake distract you from your moral conundrum. Only a hamster angel, a gerbil, Manny Calavera, Raz, Tim Schafer wielding a fish (and a photo of a naked John Romero OR Gabe Newell), a talking taser, and, uh, maybe G-Man and a talking yahtzee set, may distract you in your quest.

P.S. : Portal > j00