Kanon Randomnessnessnessnessness

Note: I ain’t high on anything but that two seconds of SLOW MOTION TAIYAKI ENJOYMENT.

OP DISCUSSION

Kanon 2002 OP: EYES TOO BIG, CHIN TOO LONG, YUUIICHI LOOKS LIKE AN IDIOT

Kanon 2006 OP: EYES TOO BIG, NOT ENUF AKIKO :V

Tsukihime OP: CHINS TOO LONG, SHIKI TOO EMO

And now, which Kanon OP is more awesome.

Kanon 2002 OP: This OP was a really nice one to start the series. A little sad, very poigant, however, it lacked real impact.For all it’s merits, it wouldn’t leave a lasting impression on your average viewer.

Kanon 2006 OP: Now this one, it has real impact. And no, it ain’t Ayu slowly enjoying her taiyaki speaking. I believe this was the original OP to the game. Rich tones and a stunning voice play together to form a harmony of velvet that is pleasing to the ears.

You which one I’m leaning to. But you’re WRONG. Dead WRONG. Both Kanon OPs don’t make the cut :V

And why? Because Tori no Uta, Farewell Song, Light Colors and Life is Like a Dream are so much more awesome. (And yes, the first two are from AIR and the last two from Tomoyo After ~It’s a Wonderful FAP Life, and yes, all 4 were sung by Lia :V Lia is awesome :V)

THE JAM SCENARIO

And now, I would like to introduce the JAM Path. Yes,Akiko’s infamous JAM takes centerstage in this weird and oddly hilarious tale of jam love.

Forget about the girls for a moment. Forget even about Akiko and Sayuri and Kitagawa(Yes, I know some of you out there are trying to be funny.). Akiko’s JAM takes centerstage.

Yuuichi, after 7 years of being away from the snowy city he visited so often, returns to complete his high school education. The reason for is long hiatus? No one knows. And no, Ayu didn’t fall from some damn tree.

Yuuichi sees something familiar. It is his beloved jam (Akiko made it fresh). He mises it so much, he hugs it instead of poor Nayuki(who will get the least screentime in this path,on account of she being an incestuous little whathaveyou).

What follows next is a highly disturbing ale of a man talking and dating and romancing a jar of Akiko’s infamous jam. And at the end of it all, he sticks his penis into the jam. And while he and the jam share an intimate moment (GOOD FUCKING LORD HE’S FUCKING A JAR OF JAM SOMEONE CALL THE PEOPLE FOR ETHICAL TREATMENT OF JAM), the entire cast of Kanon (yes, even the creators of Kanon themselves) burst into the room and see the horrible spectacle. And the true reason why he was sent away form the snowy city is revealed: He killed Ayu while fucking the jam in front of her. Poor Ayu dies(again), Nayuki tosses her cookies in the most violent manner possible, Shiori suffers a sudden outburst of leukemia, Mai loses her sanity and masturbates on the spot(don’t ask), and Akiko cries in a corner, agahst at the wrongful appreciation of her jam (she gets some after this from all her fanboys, me included :V). Yuuichi gets poisoned and dies.

:V