ZOMG NEW TYPE-MOON GEWDS @ COMIKET 70 OMGOMGOMG

Yes, I am a goddamn TYPE-MOON fanboy. So sue me. Repeatedly. With a chainsaw or powerfist or pulse carbine or heavy bolter.

TO TEH GEWDS

FUCK YOU LEAF, FUCK YOU JAPAN, FUCK YOU SMELLY OTAKU

Dorii and Gura are females. And will be females in the PS2 remake.

FUCK YOU LEAF, FUCK YOU JAPAN, AND FUCK YOU SMELLY OTAKU

I WNAT MY TRAPS GODDAMNIT

Chocotto Sister makes me want to rubbleize Japan.

Chocotto Sister is truly siscon anime. Fuck, it isn’t even subtle about it. It’s like ONIICHAN ONIICHAN ONIICHAN ONIICHA-FUCK. IT’S SO BLOODY ANNOYING. SOMEONE GIVE CHOCO A GODDAMN COCK ALREADY. She’s what? Looks 12, but acts like 5?

The OP makes me violent, the show makes me wanna anally violate Stripey, and the ED screams CHINA COME INVADE JAPAN ALREADY. It’s an otaku’s bloody fetish dream come true in 2D form.

…Fuck you Choco. Fuck you siscon-mad shell of a main character. And fuck you Japan.

(And for those of you who think I’ve lost my edge, I’m incredibly happy today.)

MOE MOE TOUKA MODE

Yes, I skipped 16 for this. Screw you. There’s more awesome elements in this show.

• Bishiewi doing paperwork
• Oboro bin Laden is HAADO GEI HOO~
• the aforementioned MOE MOE TOUKA MODE
• a rather drunk Karura
• Oboro bin Laden needing “hangover medicine”. You sure it’s not for forgetting lastnight’s events, boy?
• Hakuoro doing something to Oboro bin Laden (Oboro bin Laden deserved the medicine)
• MOAR KAMYU

And yes, people, Kuuya is cute. And yes, Dorii and Gura are gay and male. Don’t be so shocked. I wonder if there are yaoi doujins of the trap twins… … … … sans Oboro.

Also, if Yuzuha can move around (debatable), have rollicking fun wih Aruru, Kamyu and Mukuru, and still is able to eat, does that look like a sick little girl to you?

Dorii~ Gura~

How certain anime series could have been improved/saved

Look, we all know some series have been dragging on like God knows when. And some of them suck outright. And a few didn’t live up to expectations. So here’s a list of series and how we can improve them.

Inuyasha: For chrissakes, just turn Inuyasha into a GIRL. Then it turns into a SISCON ANIME, because Sesshomaru will most probably DO HIS SISTER. YES HIS SISTER.

Naruto: Actually, let’s just end the whole series with a giant foot crushing the world of Naruto.

Bleach: DBZ-STYLE AIZEN VS ICHIGO FIGHTS. WITH EPISODES USED FOR CHARGING UP THEIR BANKAI.

Gundam CE Universe: STARGAZER is not enough. I demand the Gundam SEED Destiny Movie to be 90 MINUTES OF PURE HARDCORE YAOI. Otherwise I might just write off CE for good. This is the only way to save CE. Or doom it.

Mai Hime/Otome: Need moar yurisechz scenes. And WTF misuses of innate powers.

Tsukihime: Wait, nevermind.

Fate/Stay Night: KyoAni or J.C. Staff to do Heaven’s Feel scenario. That will do nicely. We need to retcon DEEN’s efforts.

Kanon: REDO THE WHOLE SERIES. Wait, KyoAni’s on the job.

Mobile Suit Gundam: MOAR BISHIES PLS KTHXBAI.

Gundam Wing/Endless Waltz: Less of the ruddy bishies and invincible mecha.

Eva: Remove that pussy of a male lead and use some punk like Archer to fill the role. Or we could throw in another lady and up the yuri quotient.Or make Kaoru the main lead.

Ebichu: Another season pls.

Shakugan No Shana: HURRY UP WITH THE MOVIE.

MILFBlade: MOAR LOLI. MOAR MILF. LESS ACKSHUN. MOAR BREASTFEEDING.

NHK Yi Youkoso!: REDO. With some other studio other than Toei. GONZO will not port over the black humour. Or the more graphic Satou mental imagery.

SHnY: A shotgun, a million 12-gauge shells, and a longsword. Oh, and a license to kill. Those fanboys are going down.

If you have any suggestions, please feel free to suggest.

Oh my GOD. My childhood memories, moefied!

Good Lord Japan, what did Hans Christian Andersen and the Brothers Grimm do to you sick perverted bastards.
First, you turn Little Red Riding Hood and the goddamn Wolf into a cute melee fighter and her talking steed, Snow White into a megane tsunderekko magic user, and Sleeping Beauty into a elfin Rei-clone tank. And to top it off, you had to moeify the Three Musketeers too!

And as for the Bad guys, we have THE GODDAMN PUSS-IN-BOOTS AS A FREAKIN’ PASNY, HANSEL DOING NOTHING AND GRETEL WIELDING A GREATSWORD TRYING TO KILL LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD, AND MOST PROBABLY THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST AS THE MAIN EVIL BITCH. What’s next Japan? The Three Little Pigs as three adorable shotas? Cinderella as a SM slave? THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO AS A GODDAMN VAMPIRE? (Wait, that’s been done.) Jack and the Beanstalk turning into some pansy kid with a love for gardening?

Japan, you are so going to pay for my dentist’s bills, psychological examinations, legal issues, bail, and weapons expenditure when I’m done with this show. YOU MOEFIED MY CHILDHOOD. GEE, THANKS. AS IF WALT DISNEY DIDN’T RAPE MY CHILDHOOD MEMORIES ENOUGH.

(On a side note, I do like the lolimoeness that is Otogi Jushi Akazukin.)

PRINCESS STF!

Punie Tanaka is your average Magical Girl… … … …until you nullify her magic. Then she’ll break your goddamn bones and grind them into dust. Without physically removing them. What a fearsome girl.

Dai Mahou Toge isn’t your average magical girl series. Indeed, the magic is given the Holy Finger submission and is clotheslined into gimmicky one-shot actions to make way for the awesome Close Combat Action. And it’s all hilarious. Never has a wrestling style been used to such lethal extent for comedic purposes.

And yes, everyone from Magic Land wants the cute little Punie dead. Or something. Even her loliriffic twin sisters (LOLI BUM SMAQING FTW). Yes, Punie has a love-hate relationship with her sisters. They love to hate one another. Or something. It’s really fucked up, this show.

Have I mentioned her magical incantation is “Lyrical Tokarev, kill them all!” and the OP is about killing them all and the ED is about bone-breaking? And that vegetables willingly peel themselves for her sake? And that she is sekretly a lesbian who wants every reason to grope her sisters’ asses? Or something.

Man, I think I have a loose connection in my head. Must be all the submission techniques I’ve seen. Would I willingly take Nanoha home, or Punie? Lemme think a bit… … …

Oh Shion, you’ve suffered so much.. …

Okay, Meakushi-hen just blew my mind. Twice. And not in the “OSHII A TERRORIST HIT MY HEAD WITH A RPG” type of mindblowing.

But before I go on, here are a few theories that have been confirmed/revealed.

• Mion and Shion, have indeed, swiched roles.
• The Sonozakis were responsible for the murders. (I think.)
• Shion was the Harbinger of the Fourth Murders. (And thus, inadvertedly killing poor Satoshi. T_T) Just like how Keiichi is the Harbinger of the Great Gassing of Hinamizawa.
• Satoshi wasn’t meant to be the sacrifice, Satoko was.
• Mion is the heir to the Sonozakis.
• If the beginning of the episode is to be believed, Shion killed Oryou and Mion. NOES
• This is the answer Arc to Watanagashi-hen, Tatarigoshi-hen, and that Rika-chan arc.
• I am completely batfuck insane.

Now then, to business.

If you were to ask me if I might hate Shion after, my answer would be a firm and resolute no. It’s easy to hate her for all the things she’s done. Killing her grandmother, her sister, hurting the ones she loved, it’s all detestable things. Sure, she chose to do those things, but do we know why? I ask you, do you know why she did those things? Maybe it’s because I’m a diehard romantic or something, or maybe I’m a sick pervert who loves breasts (yeah, you heard me right), but behind all that is a girl who wants to be loved. She may have said and done some terrible things to Satoko, but I truly believem in her heart, she was doing iit for Satoshi. Blind and impulsive, I hear from people. Yes, I don’t deny that, they’re right. She’s got feelings she doesn’t know how to cope with, and those two years in the boarding school didn’t help much, either. When Satoshi died, something must have snapped in her. I don’t know what, but it happened. She’s been through a lot, people. Please try to understand her before passing judgement. This is as much as I can do for a much-misunderstood character.Or at least imagine her mournful face singing the ED. That’s all I beg of you.

We are also surprised by the actions of Sonozaki Oryou. What we perceive of her is that of a ruthless head of a mafia. What her actions dictate is one of kindness and understanding. She does not want innocents to get hurt. She spared the lives of Mion and Shion. She wanted the poor child they kidnapped to be treated like a guest.  Does this dictate the mind of a ruthless mafia don? I think not.

As for Satoshi, I don’t know. He has suffered the ire and hate of niot just the whole of Hinamizawa, but also of his own relatives. For a crime he did not commit. He tries his best to protect his sister from the harm and does not tell anyone. He cares for other people rather than himself. In fact, it was this trait that led to his untimely death. He’s not such a bad individual, if we are to believe Meakushi-hen. The poor guy was desperate and wanted to let it all go. He chose to be the sacrifice rather than let poor Satoko die. I’m also inclined to believe he set up a trust fund for Satoko too. He’s a very admirable, kind individual.

I’ve also changed my mind about Mion. She’s actually very nice. :3

But I think you all know the point I’m trying to drive across.

Now if you excuse me, I’ll try to cry now. You fucking bastards.

Tsukihime Beta 2 Playtesting has begun, WOO~

From Mirrormoon:

With proofreading as good as finished, Tsukihime Beta 2 has now entered the playtesting stage. All beta testers currently available have been notified by e-mail. Anyone who has not received this mail, please read the main trac page for details.

Oh yeah. Soon, we will have Tsukihime in English, and we can all be wowed by the writings of Nasu Kinoko. Fight on, MirrorMoon, and fight on betatesters!

ZOMG IT SI TEH NANOHA PODCAST THINGY PART DEUX

Yes, part 2 of this splendiferous podcast (FREE OF APPLE PRODUCTS) which talks about anime stuff.

High point: japes mocking Kuso Miso Technique. japes pwns. And thanks for the link to the FULL COLOUR version of KUSO MISO TECHNIQUE, guys. You all rock like boulders.
Next week: Who knows? As long as they don’t use Hare Hare Yukai as the ED.